


Cold Water

by onebigroughdraft



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bands, Angst, Clexa, F/F, First Loves, Fluff, Friendship, band au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-04-22 06:43:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14303094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onebigroughdraft/pseuds/onebigroughdraft
Summary: Lexa is the lead singer of The Grounders, a famous band who's currently working on their third album. Stuck in a rut, the band decides to go home, hoping that returning to the place it all began will bring new inspirations.For Lexa, that means returning to the one person whoisher inspiration.orLexa, Clarke, and a whole mess of feelings.





	1. Chapter 1

**The Grounders: Third Times the Charm**  
_After two sold-out world tours and songs that have rocketed to the top of the billboards, The Grounders are readying for their third album—and they promise it’s their best one yet_  
**By Kara Danvers**

Thwack. Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

A pair of drumsticks being hit together breaks the silence that covers the large space, and a single spotlight illuminates the dark stage.

It shines on the youngest member of the Grounders, Octavia Blake. Face paint on, she gives a grin—a mischievous one that says she knows what’s about to happen is going to blow your mind—as she keeps her arms raised in the air, drumsticks held high.

Bum. Bum. Bum. Bum.

The bass comes next—followed by the next spotlight. 

Lincoln Pine comes into view, his face paint is equally as ferocious—but he’s got a gentle smile on his face as he moves his fingers along the strings of his bass guitar.

Then, a plucking of guitar strings starts, growing in volume as the third spotlight shines down onto the stage.

Anya Woods is there, playing a melody with her guitar as she sends out a smirk towards the crowd.

And then—a voice, joining the instruments.

The beat picks up.

The fourth and final spotlight turns on.

Standing in the middle of the stage in front of the microphone—Lexa Woods.

The crowd, which had already been screaming steadily since Octavia appeared, suddenly grows louder.

Lexa smirks—the familiar one that adorns the posters and billboards and shirts across the world.

The lead singer and songwriter for The Grounders’ smirk turns into a genuine smile as she reaches up with her right hand to pat the spot above her heart—one, two, three times.

The three pats above her heart is a ritual Lexa does before every concert, though nobody is entirely sure of the meaning.

When asked, Lexa just smiles and shrugs.

“It’s just something I started doing in high school, when we were just starting out,” Woods explains, a twinkle in her eye. “Sure, there’s a meaning…but I have to maintain some air of mystery, right?”

Woods mentions her now-famous routine going back to high school, where The Grounders first started making music—the Grammy-nominated band has known each other for just about their entire life. Anya is the eldest at 26, with her and Lexa's cousin Lincoln coming next at age 25. Lexa and Octavia are the youngest of the group at 24. While Anya and Lexa and Lincoln are all related, Octavia has been a friend of the family her entire life. 

“We all grew up together,” Lexa explains. “Our mom and his dad are siblings, and we're all super close. Then I met Octavia in second grade and honestly I don't remember a time we _weren't_ best friends. So yes, we were all friends first.” 

“The world famous band part came second,” Octavia jokes. “No but actually, we didn’t start the band until our sophomore year of high school.”

“And then there were a lot of bars and unpaid gigs in between then and now,” Lincoln adds, but the matching grins on their faces shows how fond the band is of their journey to get here.

As most know, The Grounders didn’t get their big break until a few years after they were formed.

“It was just before my junior year of college,” Octavia notes. “I’ll always remember because that’s when my life kind of converged into two paths.”

The drummer holds her hands up, palms together and then points her arm in opposite directions to mimic two diverging paths as she continues.

“I could stay in college and then hopefully do grad school and become a physical therapist, or I could leave and make music,” she says. “It was the same for Lexa, except she was studying something much more romantic.”

Lincoln, Anya and Octavia all let out a chuckle, and Lexa rolls her eyes, indicating that this is a running joke between the four friends.

“Don’t listen to them,” Lexa says. “I was actually studying astrophysics, and so I was always looking at the stars.”

“All she did was stargaze for the two years we were actually in college!” Octavia cuts in.

Lexa pointedly ignores her band mates’ snickering as Anya picks the story up.

“Beca saw us playing at a local bar near our old college—The Dropship,” she says. “We had a pretty steady gig there until it happened.”

 _It_ refers to the major deal they had been offered by their current label, Bella Records.

When asked, owner and head producer of Bella Records, Beca Mitchell-Beale said, “The Grounders are as legitimate as any band in this industry comes. They have a genuine love for music, and for each other. I was blown away the first time I saw them perform. I knew I wanted to sign them immediately.”

Immediately didn’t exactly happen—two of the members were in their second year of college, and the other two had already joined the family business.

“I feel like Octavia and Lexa had more to think about than the two of us,” Anya explains, gesturing to her and Lincoln. “We were working for my parents’ bakery at the time—”

“Indra's Place is the best bakery in the world!” Octavia chimes in.

“Me and Lexa’s parents own it,” Anya explains.

“And it’s the best bakery in the world!” Octavia repeats, before holding her hands up, signaling that she would behave after Lincoln nudges the drummer in the arm.

“Like I was saying, Linc and I were working at the bakery fulltime,” Anya continues. “Octavia and Lexa were almost halfway through college. And we all agreed—it was all or nothing. If we couldn’t do this with the four of us, then we didn’t want to do it at all.”

A few weeks went by after the initial offer, and suddenly the four of them found themselves at Bella records, signing a deal with Mitchell-Beale herself.

“It was always our dream to play music together,” Lexa says. “We would have been crazy to turn down the opportunity.”

So Lexa and Octavia packed up their on-campus apartment, Lincoln and Anya left the bakery, and the four of them spent almost an entire year in the studio with Mitchell-Beale before releasing their debut album, To the Sky.

To the Sky rocketed up the billboards seemingly overnight, and The Grounders fame has steadily shot up with it. 

Since then, the group has become a household name and have been selling out stadiums across the world. Now, after playing to sold-out crowds across the country twice—one with To the Sky and another with their second album, Moments Unknown, The Grounders are ready for their next one. If the pattern holds in terms of releasing new music, The Grounders will debut their new album sometime early next year. 

When asked about the writing process, the band is tight-lipped, refusing to give any hints about their highly anticipated third album except for this from Lexa, who writes most of the bands’ songs: “It’s a natural transformation of our sound, and our name.”

Their band name is the same one they came up with in high school when they first started out—a friend of the band suggested it at the time, and it stuck.

“The name literally means what it says,” Anya explains. “It’s a reminder to keep ourselves grounded, and to never forget our roots or where we came from.”

“We were best friends first, and we always will be,” Lexa adds. “The music is just a manifestation—an extension—of who we are as people, both individually and together.”

“You guys, they’re gonna think we’re all mushy and soft,” Octavia cuts in. “You’re ruining our badass, war paint persona with all of this fluff.”

The band members start to bicker good-naturedly, with the type of rapport only old friends could have. Amidst the bickering, Octavia looks over and nods her head towards my open notepad, pen poised above the paper, a wide grin on her face.

“This third album is going to blow your freaking mind,” Octavia declares, twirling one of her drumsticks she always seems to have on hand. “It’ll be the best one yet.”

The other three members nod their heads in agreement—the band is the picture of cool, confident, and collected. The looks of a group of people who know they’re about to stop the world.

As we continue to speak, Octavia beats the other drumstick absentmindedly against the arm of the couch, as if the drumstick is just an extension of her body.

Thwack. Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

_Article continues on page 5_

* *

“Lexa, would you cool it?”

Lexa glared at Anya, and her sister just rolled her eyes, immune to Lexa’s looks after having grown up with them.

“Seriously, take a break,” Octavia said, plopping down on the couch next to where Lexa was sitting. She turned her body, resting her legs on top of Lexa’s lap, kicking the crumpled pieces of paper that were on the couch onto the floor on her way.

“You guys, we only have half of our songs written,” Lexa groaned, dropping her head against the couch back. “And I…it’s...ugh!”

“What’s wrong Lexa?” Lincoln asked, and she turned her head to see her cousin sitting on the chair next to the couch.

Her three band mates were silent as Lexa gathered her thoughts, before closing her eyes and sighing. Finally, she spoke.

“I just…I don’t know, I can’t write!” Lexa explained, frustration lacing her tone. “I can’t write a single lyric for the life of me.”

“You’ve had writer’s block before,” Anya pointed out. “You’ll shake out of it, you just need to take a break.”

“Yeah, you’ve been working nonstop since the last tour ended,” Octavia added. “You’re probably burnt out.”

“No, it’s different this time,” Lexa said, waving her hands around as she tried to explain. “I just…nothing is there. I have no inspiration left. It’s just…gone.”

The four friends sat there in silence, until Anya—ever reliable and strong Anya—spoke. 

“What do you need, Lexa?” she asked her sister. “What’s going to help?”

Lexa bit her lip, closing her eyes as she thought of a blonde haired girl with shining blue eyes, and a smile that never failed to make her heart beat wildly in her chest.

“I think…I need to go home.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Fuck.”

Clarke woke abruptly to the sound of her phone blaring a very specific ringtone, and she sat up in bed, eyes scanning her sheets for her phone. She dug her hand under her pillow, grinning in triumph as she quickly answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Clarke! I’m ready to go now!” the excited voice shouted through the speaker.

Clarke laughed, glancing at the clock next to her bed.

“Ade, we don’t have to leave for like another two hours,” she replied. “You don’t want to tire yourself out before the game. Maybe you should read a book or watch TV or something.”

“I’m too excited to do any of that!” Aden whined. “I even already did my breathing exercises this morning!”

Clarke sighed fondly, shaking her head. “Ok, how about we meet you at the bakery? We can have some breakfast because I _know_ you haven’t eaten yet, and then we can go to the field from there.”

“Ok!” Aden agreed immediately. “Don’t be late Clarke! I’ll wait at the bakery for you!”

Clarke let out another laugh as Aden ended the call, before stretching her arms out and letting her head fall back on her pillow. She turned her head, smiling at the sight of the girl next to her, still sleeping.

“Hey,” Clarke said softly. “Wake up.”

“Mmph.”

“It’s playoff day,” Clarke continued, reaching out and softly carding her fingers through the other girl’s hair.

“Mmmm.”

“I told Aden we’d meet him at the bakery for breakfast before we take him to the game.”

It was silent for a moment, before Clarke rolled until she was on top of the other girl’s back, ignoring her bedmate’s grunt. 

“Ravennnnn.”

“Ge’off,” Raven’s muffled voice said, her face still buried in her pillow.

“Hey, you’re in _my_ bed,” Clarke replied, reaching up with her hand and tapping the other girl’s head with her finger. “You have your own perfectly good bed down the hall. You know, in _your_ room.”

Clarke smiled at the silence, before squealing as Raven suddenly rose and pushed Clarke off of her back. She turned her head to see Raven grinning at her with a sleepy smile.

“You love when I’m in your bed,” Raven replied. “You’re the one who clings like a koala bear in her sleep.”

Clarke just grinned, scooting closer and wrapping her arms around Raven, ignoring her best friend’s protests as she brought Raven’s head to her chest.

“I do love that you let me cuddle.”

Raven grunted, her voice muffled as she spoke. “Griff, your boobs are great but get them out of my face. I can’t breathe.”

Clarke gave Raven another squeeze before finally releasing the other girl from her arms. Raven blinked a few times, before reaching up and stretching as she released a groan.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“About nine thirty,” Clarke replied. “Aden called. He’s already ready to go.”

Raven chuckled, shaking her head. “I swear, I’ve never met a twelve year old with as much energy as him.”

“We’re meeting him at the bakery before we take him to his game,” Clarke explained.

Raven grinned, brown eyes widening. “It’s playoff day!”

Clarke nodded her head. “It’s playoff day,” she repeated.

“Well, let’s get to it Griff! Aden and I have been working on extra touches all week!” Raven said, sitting up and hopping out of Clarke’s bed. “Go shower! I’ll make sure the signs are ready to go!”

Clarke just laughed as Raven quickly exited her room, before slowly getting up.

“Playoffs!” she heard Raven shout from down the hall.

* *

“Clarke! Raven! You’re here!”

Clarke smiled as she stepped fully inside the familiar bakery, Raven right behind her. Aden jumped out of his seat and rushed towards them, slamming into Clarke as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Hi, Ade,” she greeted the young boy, wrapping him up in a hug. “Did you eat yet?”

She released him and he took a step back, shaking his head. “No, I waited for you guys. Hi Raven!”

“Sup, Ades?” Raven asked, holding her hand out.

Clarke rolled her eyes as Aden eagerly reached out and slapped her hand twice, before the two of them launched into the handshake they had come up with a few years back.

(She could also admit that it was freaking adorable to see her usually sarcastic best friend perform a handshake with a twelve year old so enthusiastically.)

“Clarke! You guys are here already?”

Clarke turned her attention to the front of the bakery, where Gustus stood behind the counter. She smiled and walked towards him, nodding her head.

“Aden called this morning and was too excited for the game to wait,” Clarke explained. “I told him we could eat breakfast here and then head out.”

“Thanks for taking him again,” Gustus replied. “Indra and I would love to, but these Saturday morning rushes have been getting more and more crazy.”

“Of course! We would have been there anyways,” Clarke answered. “We don’t mind.”

“Good morning Clarke!” Indra greeted, coming out from the kitchen to the front. Her apron was covered in flour, and she had a towel slung across her shoulders. “Aden doesn’t have to be at the field for another couple of hours?” she asked, looking over at her son who had the grace to look a bit sheepish.

“We just couldn’t wait,” Raven cut in before Aden spoke. “It’s playoff day!”

Aden grinned as Raven reached out and ruffled his hair, and Clarke just rolled her eyes but nodded in agreement.

“Well, once the morning rush has died down we’ll be able to meet you at the field,” Indra said, grinning in a way that indicated she knew exactly why the two girls had shown up early. “In the meantime, how about some breakfast?”

“Ooh, cinnamon buns please?” Raven asked, rubbing her hands together.

Gustus smiled gently, before nodding his head and going about getting the girls’ usual order together.

“Go, take a seat kids,” Indra said, making a shooing motion with her hands.

Aden bounded over to the groups’ usual table as Clarke grabbed Raven’s hand and led her over, despite the other girl knowing where they were headed.

“Don’t say it Griff,” Raven warned, rolling her eyes.

Clarke just hummed, releasing Raven’s hand and slinging her arm around the other girl’s shoulders instead. She pulled Raven in close to her side, dropping a kiss on the top of Raven’s head.

“It’s just so cute every single time,” Clarke said, shrugging.

“Yeah, yeah,” Raven responded, but Clarke grinned as she felt the other girl lean into her side as the two of them walked up to their table.

Clarke slid into the booth next to Aden with Raven across from them, the two girls sharing a smile at seeing Aden practically bouncing in his seat.

“Here you go,” Gustus said as he approached the table. “Three cinnamon buns, one glass of milk, one white chocolate mocha for Raven, and one cappuccino for Clarke.”

“Thank you!” Aden and Raven said together, before Raven picked up her pastry and took a bite.

“This is the best thing of my life,” Raven practically moaned around her mouthful of warm pastry.

Gustus laughed, patting the girl on her shoulder.

“You say that every time,” Aden pointed out, smiling when Raven finished her bite and stuck her tongue out at him.

“Thanks, Gustus,” Clarke said, pulling out her wallet.

“Of course, Clarke,” Gustus replied, giving her a soft smile. “And you know your money is no good here.”

Clarke sighed good naturedly, knowing she would have to stuff some money in the tip jar up front while Gustus and Indra were both in the back.

It’s been that way since Clarke was in high school, really.

She had met Gustus and Indra Woods when she was just 14-years-old, both excited and nervous about starting her first year of high school. The bakery had been on her walk to school, and Clarke happened to walk in the very first day they had opened. She had met the whole Woods family that day, and over a century later, the bakery is still one of her most favorite places in the world.

The family used to live above the bakery, but now they lived in a house in a neighborhood a few blocks away. They had moved not too long before Aden came into their lives.

Aden was adopted by the Woods family via the foster system years ago. He was just three-years-old when he came to the Woods family, and Clarke had been there through the whole process—the fostering, the adoption, and everything that came afterwards with the growing family. Through everything, Clarke had always seen Aden as a little brother. 

She certainly loved performing all of the duties an older sister would. 

(Which included—but was not limited to—trips to Disneyland, Mario Kart tournaments, and of course, taking Aden to his soccer games on the weekends.)

And although Aden loved his older sisters, they lived farther away from home and Clarke ended up staying in the area for college and then post-grad life, and she was just happy Aden still actually wanted to hang out with her.

(She was only _slightly_ worried that when he hit his teens he wouldn’t want to hang out with her as much anymore, but Raven said that was stupid and Raven is never wrong so Clarke is really trying not to worry about it.)

Clarke was startled out of her thoughts by an arm reaching out and taking a forkful of her pastry.

“Hey!”

“Snooze you lose, Griff,” Raven said, grinning as Aden laughed at the two of them.

Clarke just rolled her eyes, reaching out and plucking Raven’s fork from her hand and stuffing the bite into her mouth.

“Leggo my eggo, babe,” Clarke replied.

“Clarke! That doesn’t even make sense,” Aden said between his bouts of laughter.

Clarke handed a pouting Raven her fork back before focusing on Aden.

“So, how are you feeling Ades? You ready?” Clarke asked.

Aden nodded his head vigorously, drumming his fingers on top of the tabletop.

“So ready!” he exclaimed. “Raven and I have been practicing all week.”

“And he’s gonna score at least three goals today,” Raven bragged, reaching over and ruffling his hair.

“Raaaaaven,” Aden whined.

“Two goals?” Raven corrected. “One for me and one for Griff?”

“Raven,” he grumbled. “I might not score.”

“Well that’s ok too, Ades,” Raven replied easily. “As long as you play your hardest.”

Clarke smiled at the matching grins on Raven and Aden’s faces. The three of them fell into their usual banter, time passing quickly, until she looked at her watch and realized it was time to go.

“…and then Tris said that it’s ok that I don’t know how to dance because she thinks I’m cool anyways,” Aden said, finishing off his story about him and his best friend Tris at their middle school dance last week.

“Oh, Tris _does_ , huh?” Raven said, looking at Clarke and wiggling her eyebrows.

“And on that note, it’s time for us to go,” Clarke replied.

“Playoffs!” Aden and Raven cheered, raising their arms in the air. 

Clarke laughed, grabbing their plates while Raven took the mugs. Aden ran off to grab his bag from the back, and Clarke and Raven took the dishes to the back.

“Ok Indra, we’re heading out now,” Clarke said, grabbing the attention of the older woman, who was kneading dough in the kitchen.

“We’ll see you there!” Indra replied, nodding her head. “You two take some croissants to go. Take them from the front.”

“Oh no, you don’t have to—”

“We don’t need—”

Indra leveled them with one of her patented looks, shutting the two of them up immediately. 

“Gustus, pack the girls some of the chocolate croissants—the ones that just came out of the oven,” Indra called out.

“Already did it!” Gustus replied from the front.

Indra raised an eyebrow at the two girls in front of her.

Raven and Clarke both thanked Indra before heading back out to the front, Raven taking the bag of pastries from the counter as Clarke walked over to Aden.

“Let’s go, Ades,” Clarke said, putting her arm around his shoulders. “Playoffs!”

“Playoffs, woo!” Raven shouted from in front of them, leading the way out of the bakery.

* *

“Ok, we’re four minutes out from the field,” Raven announced, eyes still on her watch that she had been staring at for the past few minutes of the drive.

“Ready, Ades?” Clarke asked, reaching for the volume button on her car stereo.

“Ready!” Aden replied from the back seat.

“Hit it, kid!” Raven announced.

Clarke turned the volume up as the sound of guitars and drums filled the car.

 _“No sir, well I don’t wanna be the blame, not anymore,”_ a familiar voice sang out from the speakers. _“It’s your turn, so take a seat we’re settling the final score.”_

Clarke let out the breath she was holding slowly, nodding her head along to the song. It still made her heart skip a beat whenever she heard this voice—at first it was a painful pang, but now it was more nostalgic, if anything. The voice was everywhere, anyways, and she couldn’t very well tell Aden that he couldn’t play his sisters’ music in her car just because her heart always feels funny every time she hears it.

Besides, it’s been years, anways.

Sometimes, she even found herself singing along now.

She felt Raven drop her hand on top of Clarke’s on the middle console. She gave a glance over to Raven, who was giving her a soft smile.

Clarke nodded her head at Raven’s silent question, flipping her hand and intertwining their fingers.

She laughed as she caught a glance of Aden fiercely playing the air guitar in the back seat, scream singing along to his pump up jam. She turned it up, exaggerating her head nod as Aden smiled at her from the back seat.

 _“That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoaaaaa,”_ Clarke sang along with the song. _“That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoaaaaa.”_

Clarke and Aden laughed as Raven joined in as loud as she could, hitting imaginary drums in the air, until all of them were singing as loud as they could.

 _“I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beatingggggg, and that’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoaaaaaaaaa.”_

The song started fading as Clarke turned into the parking lot, pulling into one of the spots. She sighed as the song faded out completely, putting the car in park and shutting the engine off.

“Jordan is here!” Aden announced, looking out at the field and seeing one of his best friends and teammates standing on the sideline with a soccer ball. “And so is Drew and Scott. I’m gonna go warm up with them.”

Clarke nodded and watched as Aden grabbed his bag and jogged over to the field, greeting his friends.

Raven reached over, brushing a piece of hair behind Clarke’s ear with her fingers. Clarke smiled at the other girl, thanking her silently for her support.

(And Raven is always, always, always supportive of Clarke—has been since they first met, and honestly Clarke doesn’t know what she would do without Raven.)

“Come on, let's grab our stuff and get the best spot,” Raven said. She pushed her sunglasses up from where they had slipped slightly down her face as she stepped out of the car. “Hop to it, Griff. Before that bitch swoops our spot again.”

“Raven, you can’t call Mrs. Evans a bitch,” Clarke replied as the two of them grabbed the four picnic chairs and cooler out of the trunk.

“Why? She is,” Raven countered. “And she thinks her grandkid is soooo good. He’s a punk. Aden is way better than him.”

“And the coach knows that, and that’s why Aden starts,” Clarke answered. “Don’t start something with Mrs. Evans, sweetie. She’s like, seventy-years-old.”

“Hmmph,” Raven grumbled, but silently followed Clarke over to the sideline and grinned as she put two of her chairs down in their regular spot. The two of them set up Indra and Gustus’ chairs, before settling into their own.

The two of them chatted about their schedules for the week and dinner that night and finished the pastries Gustus had packed them as the sideline started to fill up with more parents, both teams warming up on the field.

“Ahh, made it!” Gustus said, sitting down in the empty chair next to Clarke.

Clarke turned her head, waving in greeting as Indra sat in the seat next to Gustus.

“Just in time,” Clarke answered. “Game’s about to start.”

The four of them turned their attention back to the field where the starters were ready to go. Clarke smiled as she spotted Aden in the middle of the field, ball under his foot waiting to start the game.

“Woo! Go Aden!!!” Raven yelled from next to her. “Sharks! Sharks! Sharks!”

“Let’s get it, Sharks!” Gustus joined in.

The ref blew the whistle and Aden kicked the ball, officially starting the game.

“Here we go, Ade!”

* *

“How about a double scoop for the champ?”

Gustus smiled as he set the bowl of ice cream down in front of Aden. Clarke and Raven clapped enthusiastically, the two of them cheering loudly.

“Guyssss,” Aden whined, but their was a small smile on his face as he spoke. “Stop it.”

“Two goals, Aden!” Clarke said, pulling him into a side hug.

“Well done, kid,” Raven said, reaching across the table and ruffling his hair.

Aden picked up his spoon, scooping up some ice cream and taking a bite. “I’m just glad we’re moving on to the next round,” he said, shrugging.

“So modest,” Clarke teased, bumping him in the side. “You played awesome, Aden. I’m really proud of you.”

Aden was silent, but he leaned slightly into Clarke’s side as the three of them dug into their sundaes.

“Can we talk about how amazing of an idea it was to turn the bakery into a cafe too? That serves sundaes?” Raven asked, stuffing a big spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. “Best decision ever.”

“Here here!” Clarke said, holding her spoon up in the air.

Raven grinned, reaching out and tapping her spoon against Clarke’s. The two of them looked at Aden until he stopped eating his sundae and reaching up to clink his spoon against theirs.

“Are you guys coming over for dinner?” Aden asked.

“Actually Aden, I don’t think—” Indra said as she approached the booth.

“Dad is making lasagna!” Aden continued, unaware of his mom and dad sharing a look behind him.

“Aden, we—” Gustus began.

“You have to come!” Aden declared, bouncing in his seat. “Lexa and Anya and Lincoln and Octavia are coming over!”

Silence washed over the booth as Clarke froze, spoonful of ice cream halfway to her mouth. Raven’s head shot up, concerned eyes tracking Clarke’s expression. Indra sighed and Gustus frowned as Aden kept talking.

“So, can you?” Aden asked, turning to look at Clarke.

Clarke stared at the little boy next to her, unable to form a response.

“I think Clarke and Raven already have plans,” Gustus cut in, a hand on Aden’s shoulders.

Indra gave Clarke a look of sympathy, before turning her attention to Aden. “Maybe next time, Aden,” the older woman said. “If you’re done here though Ade, I was hoping you’d go to the grocery store with me. We need to pick up some things for dinner.”

Aden looked disappointed for a second, before Raven ruffled his hair again and he smiled. “Thanks for taking me to my game guys,” he said, sliding out of the booth. He hugged Clarke, and then Raven, before stepping back next to his mom. “You’re taking me to practice next week right?”

“Yup,” Raven answered, glancing at Clarke, who still hadn’t said anything since Aden had unknowingly dropped a bombshell. “One of us will pick you up from here.”

“Thanks! Bye guys!” he said, waving as he followed his mom towards the exit.

“Clarke, we’re so sorry, we just found out last night and we were going to tell you after the game,” Gustus said, stepping closer. “We—”

Clarke cut him off as she waved her hand, clearing her mind with a shake of her head. “No, don’t even worry about it Gustus,” she replied. “It’s not a big deal. Just…well, just tell Aden to text me if he still needs help with that science project next week. Raven?”

Raven took her cue and slid out of the booth as Clarke did the same, and the two of them gave Gustus a hug before departing.

“We’ll see you next week, Clarke?” Gustus called out after them.

Clarke stopped in front of the door, turning to look at Gustus over her shoulder.

“See you later, Gustus,” Clarke responded, and she gave him one last smile before she followed Raven out of the door.

She walked to her car in silence, opening the front door and sliding behind the wheel. She turned to look at Raven, who had sat in the passenger seat.

“You ok babe?” Raven asked, reaching out and grabbing one of Clarke’s hands.

Clarke nodded her head, letting out a deep breath.

“Yeah,” she replied. “They’ll probably only be in town for a few days, anyways. It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s been—years. It’ll be fine.”

Raven quirked her eyebrow, before giving Clarke’s hand a squeeze.

“As long as you’re fine,” Raven said.

Clarke let out a laugh, pulling Raven closer with their connected hands and wrapping her up in a hug as best as she could with the middle console between them.

“I love you, Rae,” Clarke sighed happily, before releasing her friend and leaning back into her seat.

“Come on,” Raven said, smiling. “Let’s go to the store. I’ll make you some chicken and dumplings for dinner.”

“You’re too good to me,” Clarke replied, laughing at Raven’s answering wink.

Clarke sighed as she started her car.

Lexa was coming home.

Tonight, apparently.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi at onebigroughdraft.tumblr.com! We can talk about this story, or Clexa in general, or how my heart was torn out of my chest when I saw Avengers: Infinity War last weekend.


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa let out a happy sigh as Anya pulled onto the familiar street, a warm glow settling over the neighborhood as the sun began to disappear for the day. She turned to look at her sister, who spared her a small, genuine smile before turning back towards the road. 

A few moments later, she turned into the driveway—the one with the basketball hoop attached to the top of the garage, and the red front door, and the flowers in the front yard their dad liked to plant during the spring.

Finally— _finally_ , they were home.

“Finally!” Octavia exclaimed, opening the car door and immediately hopping out. She stretched her arms high in the air, letting out a groan. “I feel like we were in the car for hours!”

“We _were_ in the car for hours,” Lincoln pointed out, sliding out of the car on the other side.

“Right, why didn’t we fly again?” Octavia asked.

“Because we didn’t want the paps to know where we were going,” Anya said. “Now let’s stop talking and get the bags so we can go inside and eat dinner. Finally. Lex—”

Anya’s voice cut out when she looked over to her sister and found Lexa wasn’t there. Instead, she was already heading to the front door. Anya rolled her eyes but grinned, knowing Lexa was as excited as she was about being home. She looked at Octavia and Lincoln before sprinting after Lexa, the other two forgoing the bags as well and racing to the door.

“Lexaaaaaa! Anyaaaaaa! You’re here!” a voice shouted as soon as the front door swung open.

Lexa laughed, scooping up her little brother in her arms and spinning him around.

“Whoa, Ade!” Lexa exclaimed. “You’re so tall now!”

“My turn!” Anya shouted from behind them, and pulled Lexa back before wrapping her own arms around Aden.

“I missed you guys!” Aden said, small voice muffled from where he was encased in Anya’s arms.

Anya released him and he immediately jumped onto Lexa’s back, laughing as Lexa exaggeratedly let out a groan.

“Ahh, you’re so heavy now Ades,” Lexa whined, but grinned up at him as he giggled.

“We missed you too, punk,” Anya said, reaching out and ruffling his hair. In a rare display of emotion, she pulled Lexa and Aden into her arms, all three siblings reveling in the fact that for once, they were all in the same place together. “We missed you so much.”

“Hey, how about us?”

Anya released her siblings and Aden scrambled off of Lexa’s back, before leaping onto Lincoln’s back.

“Hi Linc! Hi Octavia!” Aden greeted, grinning at his sisters’ band mates and closest friends. “Dad made lasagna! And Mom made cake!”

“Hi Aden,” Octavia smiled back at the youngest Woods sibling. 

“We missed you kiddo,” Lincoln added.

“Are you playing any shows here? Can I come this time?” Aden asked in quick succession.

“Aden, let them sit down first.”

Lexa and Anya immediately turned to the doorway to the living room, where Indra was standing, a smile on her face.

“Mom!” “Ma!”

Lexa and Anya rushed their mother, who opened her arms as her two eldest children reached her. Indra closed her eyes as her arms enveloped the two girls—it had been too long since her kids were home.

Lexa relaxed in her mother’s embrace, feeling all the stress and worry that she had been feeling from her writer’s block melt away.

“What’s this? Family group hug?”

Lexa looked up and saw her dad walking towards them out of the kitchen.

“Hi dad,” Lexa greeted, grinning at Anya’s chuckle as Gustus wrapped his large arms around the three of them.

“Me too!” Aden yelled, and then Lexa felt his smaller arms wrap around her waist.

“Hey, can we get in on this?” Octavia asked from behind the group.

The family laughed as they broke apart, and Octavia and Lincoln took turns greeting Gustus and Indra.

“I hope you guys are hungry,” Gustus said, herding the group into the dining room. “I made a whole lot of food.”

Lexa felt her stomach rumble at the sight of the food spread out on the table. Two pans of her dad’s lasagna, her mom’s freshly baked bread rolls, and someone (she was pretty sure it was her dad) had already poured a full glass of milk and placed it where Lexa’s usual place at the table was.

Yes, it was certainly good to be home.

* *

“…and I kept my eyes on the ball the whole run up, until the last second and I looked up and saw the keeper going left so I kicked it to the right and scored!” Aden finished, explaining how he scored on a penalty kick in his last game.

Lexa grinned, listening to her younger brother’s retelling of his soccer match.

These were the moments she missed while she was away. She loved the band, and she loved her life, but sometimes she felt guilty about what she was missing at home—or more specifically, the people.

A large part of that was feeling like she was missing out on Aden growing up. Lexa felt like every time she saw him, he was just a little bit taller, his hugs a little bit stronger, more curious and smarter too—and she wasn’t here to see it.

Lexa felt like she was missing the moments that mattered.

But here, sitting with her family—her entire family, and that included Octavia and Lincoln—Lexa felt something warm settle into her chest, and her heart felt at ease.

And then her heart felt like it dropped out of her chest at Aden’s next words.

“Where’d you learn to do that, Ade?” Anya asked, smiling at her little brother’s enthusiasm.

“Raven and I worked on it all last week!” Aden happily replied, taking another bite of his cake. “We made Clarke play goalie!”

Lexa didn’t even realize she had dropped her fork until it hit the floor with a clank. Silence reigned over the table, as her parents looked at each other in alarm, and Octavia and Lincoln looked over at Lexa.

Anya continued to stare at Aden, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Clarke?” Anya asked.

“Yeah!” Aden answered, oblivious to the tension running through the air. “She came with me and Raven to the park a few times but mostly Raven helped me practice because Clarke had school.”

Lexa felt like the air had been knocked out of her as Aden said that name again.

Her name.

Clarke.

As in Clarke Griffin.

The love of her life, Clarke Griffin.

* *

“Clarke Griffin, you are the love of my life.”

The declaration put a smile on Clarke’s face as she handed over the plate of brownies to Raven’s outstretched hand.

“I bet you say that to all the girls who make you brownies,” Clarke replied, but accepted the kiss on the cheek as a thank you from the other girl.

Raven grinned, leaning back against the couch cushion. She patted the spot next to her, and Clarke sighed as she dropped down into the empty space.

“Nope, there’s only you Griff,” Raven said, taking a bite of a brownie. She picked up the glass of milk on the coffee table in front of her and took a sip. “Ahh, we’re out of milk also.”

Clarke simply nodded, mentally adding milk to their ongoing list of groceries.

Clarke and Raven had been living together for about six years now—since they had met sophomore year of college. The two had met in a chemistry class—Clarke was taking the class as part of her premed plan during her undergraduate career, and Raven was taking the class because she was shopping around in the sciences, thinking about minoring in one of them.

The two had been lab partners on the very first day, after Raven had made Clarke laugh by accidentally launching her pen into the ceiling while she had been building what she claimed was a “makeshift slingshot with paperclips and a rubber band she found on the floor”.

(Clarke had been worried for about ten seconds that _maybe_ she shouldn’t have asked the girl that clearly hadn’t been paying attention to the lecture to be her lab partner, before Raven had proven she was actually a freaking genius by sharing her notebook with Clarke and _damn_ the girl knew her stuff.)

“So, what’s on the agenda for tomorrow?” Raven asked around her mouthful of brownie.

“Well, I have class until three, and I figured I could pick you up when you get out at four and we could go grocery shopping?” Clarke replied. She opened her mouth and Raven dutifully offered her a bite of brownie.

“Ugh, class,” Raven groaned. “Remind me again why I thought getting a phd was a good idea?”

“Because you’re brilliant and beautiful and you’re going to build the most amazing things,” Clarke answered.

Raven grinned, nudging Clarke with her shoulder.

“Good answer, Dr. Griffin.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, knowing that despite having several years of med school left, Raven would insist on calling her that.

The two of them sat there, munching on brownies and idly watching the Friends rerun playing on the television.

“Sooo…are we gonna talk about it?” Raven asked, breaking the silence.

“Talk about what?” Clarke responded quickly.

“Come on, babe,” Raven replied. “You know.”

Clarke sighed, closing her eyes.

After Aden had dropped that bomb on them, she knew Raven would ask sooner or later.

The history between her and Lexa was…complicated, to say the least.

Well, maybe not so much complicated as it was _painful_.

Painful for Clarke, at least.

She was sure Lexa hadn’t really given her a second thought since that day years ago.

Raven had only been around for the aftermath, having met Clarke after Lexa had already left her life. 

Raven knew what Clarke told her—those nights early on in their friendship when Raven and Clarke would smoke a bowl and watch movies, and between the late night snack runs and binge watching, Raven had gotten the whole, unabridged story of Clarke and Lexa.

From the start of Clarke and Lexa, to the end where they weren’t Clarke and Lexa anymore—it was just Clarke, learning how to be without one of the most important persons in her life.

“I’m…it’s fine, Rae,” Clarke finally answered. “We haven’t seen each other in—years, anyways. Not since she left, really.”

Clarke leaned her head against Raven’s shoulders, and felt the other girl put her arm around Clarke’s shoulders, pulling her in closer. Clarke snuggled into Raven’s side, reveling in the warmth of her friend.

“Well, just let me know if you’re not,” Raven finally answered. “It’s…okay not to be okay, babe. You know that.”

Clarke hummed, feeling Raven drop a kiss on the top of her head.

“I know,” Clarke replied. “Thanks for being here.”

“Always.”

* *

Lexa dried the dinner plates in silence, mechanically taking the freshly washed plates from her mother and dutifully toweling them off before putting them on the counter.

She had been mostly silent after Aden’s revelation—that he had been hanging out with Clarke, that apparently Clarke was a _big_ part of his life.

Her parents’ lives.

He had gone on to talk about Clarke and someone named Raven—and Lexa tampered down her urge to look up this ‘Raven’ on social media because apparently the girl was a large part of Clarke’s life.

Her Clarke.

Lexa sighed, mentally correcting herself.

Not her Clarke, anymore.

Not for a long time.

“Lexa,” her mom said, turning to face her.

Lexa looked up from where she had been staring at the plate in her hand, meeting her mother’s concerned eyes.

“Yeah Ma?”

“Lexa, I know…what Aden said may have come as a surprise to you,” Indra said hesitantly. “But your father and I just thought it was best to—Clarke has been a huge help to us, with the bakery expanding and she’s been there for Aden when we can’t be.”

Lexa closed her eyes, hearing her mother’s words but not really listening.

“And I know we should have told you,” Indra continued. “But the way you two left things, and Aden loves Clarke so much—if you weren’t comfortable with her being around us, or wanted us to cut off all contact—we weren’t sure Aden would respond well to it.”

Lexa absentmindedly began to tap her fingers against her leg, a habit she had started in high school. She didn’t recognize the beat she was tapping—it was new, which would have surprised her if she wasn’t so stuck in her own head.

“That sounds like a cop out, I know,” Indra was saying. “Clarke—she was a part of this family, Lexa. But if you want us to—to stop having a relationship with her then we will. Nothing is more important to us than you and your brother and sister, little one. You three come first.”

Her mother’s last few sentences finally broke Lexa out of her trance, and she sent a pained smiled to her mother.

“No Ma…she sounds like she’s really important to Aden,” Lexa finally said. “I—Anya and I aren’t here for him, not like we should be. It’s good that he has a—an older sibling around.”

“Lexa…that’s not—”

“I’m really tired from the drive, Ma,” Lexa continued. “I think I’m going to head to bed, ok? Thanks for the dinner. It was great.”

She gave her mother a kiss on her cheek, and swiftly headed to the stairs. She took the steps slowly, finally reaching her bedroom and pushing the door open.

Her room was just like she remembered it.

Pictures on the corkboard hanging about the desk, glow in the dark stars she and Aden had put up on her ceiling when he had first came into their home, a box of picks on her dresser.

And a single picture frame on her bedside table—the same picture that’s buried deep in her guitar case, the one she looks at when she’s feeling nervous or homesick.

The one of her and Clarke, smiling and laughing.

Lexa laid down on her bed, turning her head to look at the picture.

It was taken back in the good days.

Back before.

Back when they were together.

But that had been a while ago, and Clarke was fine. Probably better than fine. Lexa was sure Clarke hadn’t thought about Lexa in—years, really. It seemed that Clarke was okay with how things ended between them—after all, Clarke didn’t seem to have a problem with being around the rest of the Woods family.

So Lexa figured it was just her left with the heartbreak.

She reached out, grabbing the yellow notepad and pen that had been sitting on her desk.

She suddenly felt the urge to write. The pen flew over the paper as she poured her heart out onto the page.

****_I believe we’re the ones who had it all_  
I believe we just had to learn to fall  
I miss you, I love you, so it’s really hard to see  
Yeah, we just got to let it be 

* *

_“Ma! Have you seen my extra guitar picks?” Lexa called from the bedroom she and Anya shared. She continued rifling through her desk, rolling her eyes when she spotted the box of picks on Anya’s dresser. “Never mind! Found them!”_

_Lexa grinned triumphantly as she stuffed a few in her pocket, before grabbing her backpack and heading out of the apartment. She huffed when she realized nobody was in the apartment with her—they must have already gone downstairs to the bakery. Lexa followed suit, taking the stairs two at a time._

_She was excited, after all—it was her very first day of high school._

_Lexa had been practicing all summer with her guitar, and she had proven good enough to skip beginner’s music class and skip to advanced with her sister, who was a junior already._

_“Anya, I thought we agreed to keep the picks in the top drawer of the desk so—”_

_Lexa cut herself off as she rounded the corner and saw the bakery wasn’t just her family—a girl was at the counter, peering into the display of baked goods._

_Actually, her family wasn’t in the front area at all—which meant her parents were probably in the back and Anya was god knows where, all of them unaware that the bakery had their very first customer ever._

_Lexa sighed, walking behind the counter. She cleared her throat and spoke._

_“Welcome to Indra’s Place. Can I help you?”_

_The girl looked, and Lexa could feel her breath literally catch in her throat._

_She had the bluest eyes Lexa had ever seen._

_This girl’s eyes were the kind of blue that songs were written about. The kind that made the lyrics flow across the page, messy scribbles on a crumpled piece of paper found in your jacket pocket. The kind that you raced to get out of your head, and out of your heart, because you feared as soon as those eyes left yours the inspiration would be gone once more._

_The kind whole_ albums _were inspired by._

_And they were staring right at Lexa._

_“Whoa,” Lexa breathed out._

_“Sorry?”_

_Lexa could feel her cheeks heat up, resisting the urge to hide behind the counter and wait for the girl to leave. Remembering that she’s successfully interacted with other human beings before, Lexa gave a small shake of her head and refocused her attention back on the girl._

_“I’m sorry, what was that?” Lexa asked, clearing her throat._

_The girl smiled, and holy_ shit _her smile was beautiful too._

_The kind of smile that inspired a melody that came from the heart, with fingers strumming against guitar strings as if a higher spirit was guiding them. The kind that—_

_“Are you not open yet, or…?”_

_Lexa blinked, realizing she had spaced out_ again _, right after she had apologized for spacing out the first time._

_Jesus fucking Christ._

_Telling herself to mentally get it together, she addressed the girl once more._

_“Sorry, we definitely are,” Lexa said. “It’s actually opening day. You’re our first customer.”_

_“Oh wow, awesome!” the girl said, and she smiled again. “I feel honored.”_

_Lexa grinned back, listening as the girl continued._

_“It’s my first day too,” she said. “Well, of school. And this town. I just moved here over the summer and I’m starting at Arkadia High today. I was waiting for the bus stop in front of the bakery, and I saw the open sign and well, here I am.”_

_Lexa listened as the girl rambled, smiling wider when she saw a faint tinge of pink show up on the girl’s cheek._

_“Arkadia High?” Lexa repeated. “Are you a freshman?”_

_The girl nodded, and Lexa held up her backpack from where she had set it on the ground._

_“Me too,” she said. “Freshman. But I’ve lived in this town my whole life.”_

_“Oh yeah?” the girl said. Lexa watched as the girl bit her lip, brows furrowing for a second before she leaned closer to the counter. “Can I tell you a secret?”_

_Lexa found herself nodding, caught up in the other girl’s expression._

_“I’m nervous,” the girl admitted. “Most of the people in this town seem like they’ve known each other their whole lives…and I’m the outsider that’s starting over.”_

_Lexa smiled softly, reaching out to grab the pair of tongs hanging on the display case. She opened it and grabbed one of the cinnamon buns her mom had made earlier that morning, before placing it on a plate. She slid it across the counter towards the girl._

_“Here,” Lexa said. “These are the best thing for nerves. Trust me.”_

_The other girl laughed, looking at Lexa amusedly. “Oh yeah? Is that a proven fact?”_

_“Yup,” Lexa replied, nodding her head. “Nothing is better for the nerves than one of my mom’s cinnamon buns.”_

_“How much?” the girl asked, pulling her wallet out of her backpack._

_“It’s on the house,” Lexa answered. “For being our very first customer.”_

_The girl laughed again, and Lexa was mesmerized._

_“That’s not really a practical way to run a business,” the girl responded. “I don’t think I can technically be counted as the first customer if I didn’t pay.”_

_Lexa just shrugged, grinning as the girl stared at her before pulling out a few dollars and stuffing it in the empty tip jar on the counter._

_“Thanks…sorry, I don’t think I got your name?” the girl asked._

_Lexa held her hand out over the counter. “I’m Lexa. It’s nice to meet you…?”_

_The girl took Lexa’s outstretched hand, shaking it with a laugh._

_“Clarke. Clarke Griffin.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi at onebigroughdraft.tumblr.com!


	4. Chapter 4

_“So faaaaar away, doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore? It would be so fine to see your face at my doooor—”_

“Clarke! Are you almost ready to go?”

Clarke sighed, feeling the water wash over her from the showerhead above. The hot water was like a remedy for her hurting soul—she hadn’t been able to sleep very well last night, not after learning that The Grounders were back in town.

Anya and Octavia and Lincoln.

And Lexa.

Lying in Raven’s bed last night (because Raven had _insisted_ that they have a sleepover and watch movies until they both fell asleep), Clarke couldn’t help but think about her ex-girlfriend.

And that had inevitably led to Clarke thinking about her and Lexa together, and their relationship, and everything that had led up to this point in time, where neither girl had spoken to one another in years.

(It felt much, _much_ , longer for Clarke, because Lexa had been her first friend, her first love—and she had hoped Lexa would be her forever love too. It took Clarke a lot of time to get over Lexa, and for her to realize that Lexa was just supposed to be her first, not her forever, and that realization still makes Clarke feel like there’s a vice grip around her heart whenever she thinks about it.)

And so Clarke had taken all of her thoughts of Lexa and stuffed it in a box and put the box in the very, very back of her mind and taped it all up and clearly labeled it LEXA in big, red letters in hopes that her brain wouldn’t open it back up.

(Her brain never really listened to her when it came to that particular box though, the traitor—or maybe it was a combination of her head and her heart, egging one another on.)

Either way, Clarke missed Lexa during her weakest moments—like when she was having a bad day and she knew that if she felt the other girl’s embrace, or her soothing voice, she would feel better.

Hell, Clarke missed Lexa in her strongest moments too—like when Clarke got the highest grade on her paper for one of her classes, and she went to text the number she has saved by heart about it until she remembered that Lexa didn’t care, and it would be weird for Clarke to reach out about the every day happenings of her life.

“Clarke! Come on! We have zero food here and I will _not_ leave this apartment without a poptart for one more morning!”

Raven’s voice was closer now, and it shook Clarke out of her musings. She opened the shower curtain a little bit and stuck her head out to see Raven standing in the middle of her bathroom, tapping her foot impatiently.

“How many times do I have to explain to you that you can’t eat poptarts for breakfast every morning?” Clarke asked, rolling her eyes when Raven just shrugged. “Give me ten minutes, please?”

Raven narrowed her eyes, before nodding her head. “You have until this episode of Parks and Rec is over.”

“Gee, thanks,” Clarke replied sarcastically.

Raven grinned before leaving the room, hitting the play button on the speakers she had previously paused when she came bounding into the bathroom.

Clarke sighed, getting back to rinsing the conditioner out of her hair. She closed her eyes, singing along once more.

_“I sure hope the road don’t come to own me, there’s so many dreams I’ve yet to fiiiiind. But—”_

* *

_“—you’re so far away, doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore? It would be sooooo fine to see your face at my doooor, and it doesn’t help to know you’re so, faaaar awaaaaay.”_

“Lexa! Are you actually showering in there or are you just singing?”

Lexa stopped her singing, rolling her eyes.

“Carole King is a queen!” she yelled back.

“Still! Hurry up!” Anya said, speaking in a normal tone as she entered the bathroom. “I told Aden we would take him to Dave and Busters. He keeps talking about how he’s so great at skee ball, so we have to go right now so I can beat him.”

Lexa poked her head out of the shower, leveling Anya with an unimpressed look.

“Seriously? You’re not going to let him win in skee ball?” she asked.

Anya huffed, crossing her arms. “No, because he’s talking smack and he needs to learn that his older sister shows no mercy.”

“He was not talking smack,” Lexa countered.

“Okay, he wasn’t, but he bet me a sundae that I couldn’t beat him,” Anya replied. “So it’s my pride _and_ dessert on the line. So chop chop, hurry it up.”

Lexa just rolled her eyes again, returning to her shower.

But she was also aware of the smile on her face, because for the first time in what felt like years she, Anya and Aden were spending the day together.

Only the thought of spending the day with her siblings made the confusion of emotions that were currently swirling around inside of her quiet for a bit.

She knew the source—it was always the same, anyways.

Clarke.

She and Clarke were also in the same city for the first time in years, and she knew that it was a big city—but still, the thought of running into Clarke somewhere while she was out was enough to make Lexa feel anxious.

Super anxious.

Like, all the time.

And she couldn’t tell if she was anxious because she was scared she would run into the blonde haired girl, or if it was because she knew deep down that she _wanted_ to run into Clarke.

(Lexa knew, she just _knew_ that it was the latter—because just a glimpse of Clarke, no matter how much it hurt, would be better than never seeing her again at all, and god _that_ was a thought that truly made Lexa feel sick.)

Clarke was her first love, and Lexa was pretty sure Clarke was her only love—it had been years, after all, and Lexa knew that the other girl still held her heart.

(She was also aware of how unhealthy it was to yearn for her ex-girlfriend after so many years, but Clarke was so much more than just her ex-girlfriend—Clarke was, well, _Clarke_.)

“Wrap up the concert, will you?” Anya’s voice rang out again. “And get dressed and then also don’t forget to grab your wallet because I told Aden it was your treat.”

“Anya!” Lexa exclaimed, sticking her head out of the shower again just in time to watch Anya cackle as she left the bathroom.

Lexa huffed, but she honestly didn’t mind—she planned to spoil Aden while she was home anyways.

She really had missed her kid brother.

And she was totally going to beat both of their asses in skee ball. She reached out, hitting the next button on her phone, smiling as she sang along to the words.

_“I feel the earth move under my feet, I feel the sky tumbling down…”_

* *

“You cheated.”

“I did not!”

“You did!”

“I didn’t!”

“I’m gonna watch you more closely from now on, punk.”

“Anyaaaaa,” Aden whined, making Lexa and Anya burst into laughter.

Lexa grinned as Anya pulled Aden into her side, and the three of them made their way over to the prize booth. Aden was carrying the tickets the three of them had won over the past few hours.

Aden had taken three out of the five rounds of skee ball they had ended up playing, and Lexa couldn’t even be mad about it after seeing the way Aden lit up every time he won a game.

(Anya pretended to be upset, but Lexa could tell her older sister was just as happy as they were just spending time with one another.)

Lexa watched her siblings interact, and that same feeling of nostalgia seemed to wash over her as she took in the sight of Aden.

He was so much more grown up since the last time she saw him. His voice cracked every once in a while—it wasn’t that high, squeaky little kid voice from when he was growing up. He was getting taller, and it seemed like he wore less cartoon characters on his shirts.

“Jeez Ade, you’re getting so big,” Anya continued, and Lexa smiled wider when she saw Aden puff his chest out slightly at Anya’s words, unconsciously standing a little bit taller. “How tall are you now?”

“Dad says I’m growing like a weed,” Aden repeated, clearly having heard the phrase from their parents.

“You are,” Lexa cut in. “I feel like the last time you visited us you barely reached to my stomach.”

Aden rolled his eyes. “You’re exaggerating Lexa.”

Lexa gasped in mock offense, nudging her younger brother. “Hey, where did you learn to roll your eyes? When did you get so sarcastic?”

“Mom let me watch your interview during the VMAs last year,” Aden replied, and Anya snickered as he continued. “You rolled your eyes a lot.”

“I did not!” Lexa countered, but she knew it was true.

It wasn’t her fault that some interviewers asked dumb questions, was it?

“And besides, you’re too young to be this sarcastic,” Lexa replied.

“Mmm…I don’t know, Lex,” Anya said. “The force is strong with this one, I can feel it.”

Aden grinned even wider at that, and Lexa couldn’t help but chuckle.

Damn, she really had missed her little brother.

“Lexa? Sundaes, right?”

She smiled at Aden’s question, pulling him out of Anya’s arms and into her own. 

“Yeah Ade, sundaes,” she answered. “Octavia and Lincoln are picking up everything we need for a sundae bar right now.”

“Yesssss,” Aden cheered, fist pumping.

Lexa laughed and Anya smiled, and the three siblings walked the rest of the way to the prize booth with matching grins on their faces, simply enjoying spending time together.

* *

“Okay, we’ve got lettuce, chicken, apples, tomatoes, the bread we needed, the steaks for tonight, potatoes, cheese, tortillas…” Clarke said, looking down at their grocery list.

She heard Raven sigh loudly, and she pointedly ignored her best friend, dutifully crossing things off of the list as she double-checked their cart.

“Milk, orange juice, coffee…”

Raven sighed louder, and Clarke kept her eyes down on her list, grinning when she felt the other girl scooting closer until Raven’s chin was resting on Clarke’s shoulder.

“Claaaarke.”

“Annnd that’s it I believe!” Clarke said, nodding her head as she folded the list and stuffed it back in her pocket.

“Aww, Clarke,” Raven whined.

Clarke grinned, reaching into the cart and picked up the bag of tortillas, revealing a few boxes of poptarts, some brownie mix, two tubs of ice cream, and a box of popcorn.

“Oh yeah, and theeeeese,” she sang, pointing to the snacks.

Raven’s face lit up with a wide smile, rubbing her hands together as she looked between Clarke and the assortment of snacks. Clarke’s grin slowly left her face as she recognized the particular look that Raven was sporting.

Her best friend had that look on her face exactly six times before—once, when Clarke had given Raven the last pudding cup at the campus café during their sophomore year of college, the first year they had met. Another when they had gone out for drinks during their junior year, and Clarke had carried Raven back to their shared apartment after one too many shots during karaoke. 

And four other times when Clarke had done something for Raven that “hit her particularly hard in the feels”, as Raven put it.

The first time Raven had done it just for kicks (and because Raven had been having an especially hard day and Clarke giving her that pudding cup had really just made all of her emotions bubble to the surface, and the love she had felt towards her best friend was the one that had boiled over, prompting her to take action). The second time had been the same, but every time after that was just an expression of her appreciation and gratitude for Clarke, and now Clarke knew to expect Raven to do it at least once every year.

So despite _very much_ being in public, Clarke knew what was coming next. In fact, Clarke knew Raven preferred to make a big show of it, which specifically meant in public, with people around.

(Her best friend really liked to ham it up, honestly.)

And every single time, Clarke was embarrassed but the sight of her best friend grinning, eyes shining, meant Clarke would put up with the spectacle.

“Clarke Abigail Griffin,” Raven said loudly, her tone warm and sure, as if it was an announcement.

“Raven, do we really have to do this right now? In the snack aisle?”

“Wha—Clarke!” Raven admonished. “The snack aisle is arguably the _best_ aisle for this!” She whipped her head around, pointing at the shelves next to them. “Look, we’re right next to the sundae toppings. You love sundae toppings.”

Clarke just sighed, and Raven grinned before holding her hand out, palm up. She wiggled her fingers expectedly, and Clarke obliged, taking off the ring Raven had gotten for her at a farmer’s market they had been walking around one morning a few years ago, and dropping it in Raven’s palm.

“Okay, but we don’t want the ice cream to melt, so I’m not sure if—”

“Clarke Abigail Griffin,” Raven repeated, cutting Clarke off.

Raven got down on one knee, the ring Clarke had just handed her in between two fingers, holding it up.

“You are my most favorite person in the whole world,” Raven declared. “And I love you with my entire heart.”

Clarke chuckled, and she couldn’t help but smile at her Raven’s words. The other girl had a smug grin on her face as she looked up at Clarke, continuing. Clarke absolutely knew that the people who stumbled upon the aisle they were currently in would stop and stare.

Raven was on her knee proposing, after all.

“You take such good care of me, and I can’t imagine my life without you in it—I don’t _want_ to imagine my life without you in it. You and I are my favorite team.”

Clarke held back a laugh as Raven took a deep breath, a nervous look on her face that Clarke knew was fake.

“Clarke, marry me?” Raven asked.

“You are the most extra person I have ever met in my entire life,” Clarke replied.

Raven said nothing, just holding the ring up higher.

“The ice cream is going to melt Raven,” Clarke continued.

“Then you better answer me quickly, don’t you think honey?” Raven asked, a smirk on her face.

Clarke rolled her eyes, but held her hand out obligingly.

“Yes, of course,” Clarke said. She laughed when Raven let out a whoop, slipping the ring onto Clarke’s ring finger.

“She said yes!” Raven shouted, and Clarke let out a shriek as Raven stood up and swooped her into a tight hug, picking her up off the ground and spinning them around. “She said yes!”

Clarke and Raven laughed as they heard applause behind them. Raven finally stopped spinning them around, and Clarke took a step back, still in Raven’s embrace.

“We’ve been living together for six years now. It’s about time you put a ring on this finger,” Clarke joked.

Raven leaned forward and gave a smacking kiss to Clarke’s cheek, causing Clarke to giggle.

“I love you, Clarke,” Raven said sweetly, grinning at her best friend.

“Love you too, Rae,” Clarke replied. “Now can we go home so this ice cream doesn’t melt?”

“After you, darling,” Raven said, sweeping her arm out in a dramatic fashion.

Clarke just let out another laugh, before grabbing the cart handle and turning around.

Before stopping abruptly at the people standing a few feet away from them, staring at Clarke and Raven.

“Clarke?” Raven prompted. “The ice cream?”

Clarke opened her mouth to respond, but instead of replying to Raven, she found other words escaping her mouth.

“Octavia? Lincoln?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long guys- I started a new job a few months ago so I've been pretty busy. I hope you enjoy the new chapter! Come say hi at onebigroughdraft.tumblr.com!


	5. Chapter 5

_“Don’t.”_

_“But Clarke—”_

_“No.”_

_“It would only—”_

_“Not a good idea, Octavia.”_

_Clarke eyed her friend wearily, because despite Octavia not pushing back too hard against Clarke’s protests, her friend still had that look in her eyes._

_The same one that had gotten Clarke to sneak into the school swimming pool at night, and help Octavia prank Bellamy, and was generally the catalyst for any type of crazy night that Octavia had planned for them._

_“Clarke, live a little!” Octavia exclaimed, wrapping an arm around the blonde girl’s shoulder. “This is why we’re friends. I push you out of your comfort zone, and you make sure—”_

_“—that you don’t die doing crazy shit?” Clarke finished dryly._

_“Exactly!” Octavia beamed._

_Clarke just laughed as Octavia gave her a pleased smile._

_Her life had changed so much since she had moved to this town and met Lexa—Clarke went from knowing nobody freshman year to a solid group of best friends all three and a half years she’s been in high school so far._

_Meeting Lexa was inevitable, Clarke liked to think sometimes._

_And it was certainly inevitable that spending time with Lexa meant spending time with Octavia, who had become one of Clarke’s best friends on her own._

_The girl was fearless._

_She was spontaneous to Clarke’s more reserved nature._

_She pulled Clarke out of her shell, and Clarke made sure Octavia didn’t get lost with her head so far up in the clouds._

_The girl was a dreamer, and to Clarke, that was inspiring._

_Octavia gently tapped one of the drumsticks she always seemed to have in her back pocket on Clarke’s arm._

_“Come on Clarke, it’ll be really, really, reallyyyyy fun.”_

_Clarke leveled the other girl with a look, crossing her arms._

_“That’s what you said about that camping trip you forced us all to take.”_

_“And it was fun!” Octavia argued._

_“A bear ate our food and we got chased by a crazy raccoon!”_

_“Yes, but we all learned that we are fast enough to outrun a rabid raccoon,” Octavia replied without skipping a beat. “And maybe, the real prize was the friends we made along the way.”_

_“That doesn’t even make sense!” Clarke responded, but laughed nonetheless at the serious look on Octavia’s face._

_The drummer continued to stare at Clarke, who met the other girls’ gaze._

_There was a beat of silence before Clarke finally gave in._

_Stupid Octavia and her ideas._

_“Fine!” Clarke grumbled. “But I’m going to complain the whole time.”_

_“That’s fine!” Octavia yelled excitedly, swooping Clarke up into a hug. “I won’t be able to hear your complaining over the sound of me having the time of my life!”_

_Clarke laughed again, returning the other girl’s hug. Octavia stepped back, giving Clarke a genuine smile._

_“Love you, Clarkey.”_

_Clarke rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “Love you too, O.”_

* *

“Oh my god, Clarke!”

The silence that had seemed to descend upon the aisle the four of them were standing in was abruptly broken, as Octavia squealed and practically bounded across the space between her and Clarke.

“Clarke,” Octavia said again as she reached the other girl, and Clarke barely had time to prepare herself before she was being wrapped up in her old friend’s arms.

“I—Octavia!” Clarke greeted, finally finding her voice. “Hi!”

“Clarkey,” Octavia’s muffled voice said again. “I missed you.”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the other girl’s words, and she closed her eyes, sinking into the hug.

“Okay, my turn O,” a voice from behind them said.

Clarke opened her eyes with a grin as she looked over Octavia’s shoulder and spotted Lincoln standing right behind them.

“No,” Octavia replied, still holding tight to Clarke.

Lincoln rolled his eyes, but Clarke just lifted one of her arms and he grinned before joining in on the hug. Lincoln’s long arms encompassed all three of them, and Clarke could almost pretend the three of them were back in high school.

Lincoln stepped back and pried Octavia off of Clarke, still smiling at Clarke.

“Clarke,” he said. “It’s been a while.”

“Too long!” Octavia continued, throwing her arms up in the air. “The last time we spoke was—well…” she trailed off, biting her bottom lip slightly.

Clarke hated seeing the frown on Octavia’s face—she always had. Octavia was one of the most fiercely happy people Clarke knew, and seeing a frown on her face was foreign.

“Clarke…I’m so sorry about—well, it was just with the break up and all…” Octavia began, uncharacteristically tapping her fingers nervously on her leg. “But we—and…I really missed you, Clarke.”

Clarke felt her heart swell, knowing what Octavia meant. She and the other girl hadn’t really spoken since Clarke and Lexa broke up, and the band took off.

For Clarke, she didn’t want Octavia to feel like the other girl had to choose between Lexa—who was essentially Octavia’s family, and Clarke—a girl she had only met a few years before.

But damn, she had missed Octavia. And Lincoln and Anya too, who had become some of Clarke’s closest friends.

And Octavia—she didn’t want to cut ties with Clarke, not ever. The girl was one of Octavia’s best friends, and truthfully the drummer missed her like crazy.

But it felt almost cruel, Octavia had thought, for her to still be in contact with Clarke when Lexa was hurting so badly.

(Those nights early on in the break up when she sat up with Lexa, holding her best friend tightly as she cried into the drummer’s shoulders still made Octavia’s heart hurt.)

Clarke knew all of this—she knew it without Octavia having to tell her. And a slight comfort during the breakup was that Lexa wasn’t alone—Clarke was heartbroken, yes, but she didn’t want Lexa to be alone.

(She never, ever wanted that—she wanted Lexa to be loved, always.)

“O,” Clarke replied softly, and she found that she had a genuine smile on her face. “I missed you too. A lot.”

Octavia practically beamed at Clarke’s words, and pulled the girl into another hug.

“It’s really good to see you, Clarke,” Lincoln spoke. He reached out and lightly patted her shoulder. “I missed you as well.”

Clarke reached out and gave him a light nudge, grinning. “I missed you too, you big teddy bear.”

Lincoln laughed, and he put an arm around Octavia’s shoulders as he chuckled.

“Hey honey, you gonna introduce me?” Raven asked, stepping forward and putting an arm around Clarke’s waist.

Clarke grinned, putting an arm around Raven’s shoulders in response.

“Raven, this is Octavia and Lincoln,” Clarke said. “Guys, this is Raven.”

“Nice to meet you,” Raven greeted with a smile, holding her hand out.

Lincoln smiled, shaking Raven’s offered hand. “Hey, nice to meet you.”

“Hi!” Octavia practically chirped. Her curious eyes were rapidly looking back and forth between Clarke and Raven’s faces. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty good,” Raven answered, grinning. “Griff promised to make me cookies tonight. I’m pretty excited.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, pulling Raven closer with a fond smile. “More like she wants cookies, and if I don’t make them she’ll try to.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Lincoln asked curiously.

‘The last time that happened, she and Aden managed to cover the entire kitchen in flour and ate most of the cookie dough instead of baking it,” Clarke explained.

Raven shrugged her shoulders unapologetically. “It was Ade’s idea,” she replied.

“Liar,” Clarke said.

Raven just grinned, before looking back at Octavia and Lincoln.

“So, are you guys here to record new music?” she asked.

Octavia gave her a look of surprise, continually tapping her fingers against her leg. “You know who we are?” Octavia asked.

“Of course,” Raven responded. “Your music is dope.”

Lincoln laughed at Raven’s word choice, and Octavia had a pleased smile on her face. “Thanks,” she replied. “Yeah, we’re working on some new stuff. But right now we’re actually here to get supplies for sundaes.”

“Aden has requested ‘all the fixings’,” Lincoln said, using quotes. “Whatever that means.”

Raven snickered and Clarke rolled her eyes again, recognizing Raven’s influence.

“He means fudge, nuts, whipped cream _and_ marshmallow topping,” Clarke explained. “Raven’s favorite topping.”

“All the fixings,” Raven repeated.

“Ahh, thanks for clarifying,” Octavia said.

She was about to say something else when her phone rang. “One sec, sorry,” she said, before stepping away and answering the phone. “What’s up?”

“So Clarke, what have you been up to?” Lincoln asked. 

“Graduate school, actually,” Clarke replied.

“Let me guess, med school?” Lincoln said knowingly.

“She’s gonna be Doctor Griffin,” Raven answered proudly.

“Rae,” Clarke said affectionately, nudging her best friend. “Yeah, I’m in med school right now. The two of us are actually at the same school. Raven is getting her phd in aerospace engineering.”

“Wow!” Lincoln replied, an impressed look on his face. “That sounds amazing and super difficult.”

“Ehh, Raven’s a genius so it’s not too bad for her,” Clarke said, a teasing lilt to her voice.

Raven grinned, shrugging. “I’m brilliant, shhh.”

Lincoln laughed and Clarke rolled her eyes. “But yeah, we’re both in grad school. We live a few blocks away from here, actually.”

Lincoln smiled, crossing his arms. “I bet your mom and Kane love having you that close to them,” he replied.

“We do Sunday night dinners,” Clarke said in response.

“And she’s still at the hospital?” Lincoln continued.

“Of course,” Clarke answered with a grin. “She’s nowhere close to slowing down.”

“Much to Kane’s chagrin,” Raven added, the three of them smiling at the thought of Abby and Marcus and how they balanced one another out so well.

“That was Anya,” Octavia announced, rejoining the group. “She said we better hurry because we’re about to start an epic rock band tournament.”

“Duty calls,” Clarke joked.

Octavia grinned, and she reached out and pulled Clarke in for another hug. “I really, really missed you Clarke,” she said. She released Clarke, taking a step back. “Do you think…can we get together while we’re home?”

Clarke felt a strong wave of nostalgia at the hopeful look on Octavia’s face. There was that familiar look in Octavia’s eyes, and she was transported back to another time—back when Octavia was one of her best friends, and the two of them would go on adventures all their other friends didn’t feel up to.

When Octavia was one of Clarke’s greatest confidants.

Damn, she missed the other girl and her fearlessness.

“I’d really like that,” Clarke replied. “Do you still have my number?”

“Same number?” Octavia asked.

Clarke nodded her head, and Octavia grinned. “Great, I’ll definitely call you.”

She gave Clarke one more hug, and this time Lincoln joined in.

“See you soon, Clarkey,” Octavia said. “I promise. Raven, it was really nice to meet you.”

Raven gave the two of them a salute, and then Lincoln and Octavia continued down the aisle with a wave.

As Clarke watched them disappear around the corner, she let out a loud sigh.

“You okay, honey?” Raven asked, rubbing her hand against Clarke’s back in small circles.

Clarke leaned into Raven’s touch, nodding her head.

“Let’s go home,” she replied.

Raven took a step back and the two of them headed to the front of the store, as Clarke dealt with the range of emotions she was feeling after their encounter with her old friends.

* *

“I’m so sorry that we’re still stuck in the middle…” Lexa sang softly, plucking at her guitar strings. “I’m so sorry…”

She closed her eyes, the sound of her guitar giving her comfort as words flowed through her head.

“‘Cause in the moment I don’t know what it’s like to be you…I don’t know what it’s like but I’m dying to.”

She paused, furrowing her eyebrows as she wrote down the lines, her brain churning out lyrics faster than her hand could write them down.

“If I can put myself in your shoes, then I’ll know what it’s like to be you. If I…” she trailed off, her pen poised above her notepad. “I…”

“What are you working on?”

Anya’s voice broke Lexa’s attention, and she looked up to see her older sister standing in the doorway.

Lexa was sitting in the garage, on the old worn out sofa that the band had dragged there during high school when Indra and Gustus had allowed the four of them to turn the garage into a rehearsal space.

The space made Lexa feel relaxed—everything was pretty much the same way the four of them had left it when they had left home. The walls filled with polaroid’s Lexa had taken during high school, the spiral notebook pages taped to the walls of potential song lyrics.

Octavia’s old drum set was still where they had left it in the corner—she had gotten a new one when they signed their deal and decided to leave her first one at home (Octavia claimed it was more practical that way, but Lexa knew her best friend’s first drum set was sacred to the other girl, and Octavia wanted to keep it in a space that was familiar and filled with memories of when they were still first starting out, when their dreams were just dreams).

Two of Lexa’s old guitars were hanging on the wall, and there were old amps and errant chords on the floor.

The garage also made Lexa nostalgic—she loved her life, and she was grateful every day that she got the change to live out her dream.

But still, she couldn’t help but think of simpler times, when the four of them would come home after school and just—play.

(And when Clarke would sit on the very couch Lexa was currently on, doing her homework and bopping her head to the music, and their friends groaned and complained but had a smile on their face when Lexa would pause between songs to step over and give Clarke a kiss.)

Maybe it was the space and the way it made her feel—but Lexa was currently elbow deep in the lyrics for another song.

“Just writing,” Lexa finally replied.

Anya walked over and plopped down next to her, her eyes scanning the current page Lexa was writing on. She whistled, before grinning and giving Lexa a nudge.

“These are really good, kid,” Anya said. “Have you got a melody in mind?”

Lexa nodded her head yes. “And I think this could be the duet song,” she replied. “I know we talked about maybe getting someone else on one of the tracks to mix it up a bit. I think this could be the one.”

“Awesome,” Anya said, grinning. “You’ve already got what—two or three songs? And we’ve only been here for a couple days. I guess coming home was the right call.”

Lexa sighed, sinking back into the couch.

Coming home _was_ the right call—Lexa knows that.

But being this close to Clarke and not seeing her was weighing heavily on Lexa’s mind (and her heart—but that was a feeling she was desperately trying to ignore).

Especially since she found out Clarke was still such a huge part of her family’s life.

(She would _not_ be jealous of her 12-year-old brother for getting to hang out with Clarke—she wasn’t _that_ desperate. Mostly.)

So it was a double-edged sword really—lyrics were flowing out of her at a fast rate, probably because of the assault of feelings that Lexa is hit with when she remembers how close she is to the only girl she’s ever loved.

“I can’t believe Aden and mom and dad still see Clarke,” Lexa said quietly. “Like, every week.”

Anya shrugged, before looking up from the notebook where she was reading the song Lexa was working on. “I mean, we were all pretty close with Clarke before the breakup,” she replied. “And Aden was really young when we left...he probably wouldn’t have understood why she stopped coming around too. You guys were together for a long time.”

Lexa was silent, and she leaned against her sister.

Five years.

Her and Clarke had been together for five years—and then she and Clarke had fallen apart, and the band left and their career took off so quickly from there.

It felt like a lifetime ago since she and Clarke had been together—but in reality, it had only been five years.

The same amount of time the two of them had been together.

And yet the time they spent together felt too short compared to the years they spent apart.

And Lexa didn’t want to think about how soon, she and Clarke would be apart for longer than they had been together.

“Are you gonna see her while we’re here?” Anya asked, breaking Lexa out of her thoughts.

Lexa shook her head, opening her mouth to speak. “I—”

“We have the goods!”

Lexa and Anya looked up to see Octavia in the doorway to the garage, holding up grocery bags.

“Come on! We’re setting up in the kitchen,” Octavia continued. “Aden’s waiting with Lincoln.”

“Come on, kid,” Anya said. “We don’t want to keep Aden waiting.”

Lexa sighed, willing her thoughts of Clarke to go away as she stood up and followed Anya and Octavia into the house. She raised her eyebrow at Lincoln and Octavia when she saw two more grocery bags sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Did you guys buy the entire ice cream section?” she asked.

“We got all the fixings!” Lincoln stated proudly.

“All the...fixings?” Anya asked.

“Fudge, nuts, whipped cream, and—” Octavia began.

“Marshmallow topping!” Aden finished, throwing his hands in the air. “How did you know?”

Octavia looked at Lexa, and Lexa recognized the look on Octavia’s face—her best friend was feeling guilty.

“We...kind of ran into Clarke at the grocery store,” Octavia said hurriedly.

Lexa felt her heart skip a beat, and she took a sharp breath as she worked to keep her facial expression normal.

So much for ridding her thoughts of the other girl for the time being.

(It was a lost cause, anyways—Lexa almost always had Clarke in the back of her mind, and at the forefront of her heart.)

“Oh?” Lexa finally asked. “You talked to her then?”

Octavia nodded her head, and Lexa noted her best friend tapping her fingers against her leg—a telltale sign that Octavia was nervous.

“Yeah, because it’s been so long, you know?” Octavia explained. “And we didn’t even know she was there until people were clapping and we turned around and she was there.”

The kitchen was silent before Anya spoke.

“What?” Anya asked, a matching confused look on the Woods’ sisters faces.

“Nothing,” Lincoln answered. “We just ran into Clarke and her roommate.”

“You met Raven? Isn’t she so cool?” Aden piped up from where he was working on scooping ice cream into a bowl. He didn’t notice the look on the four band members’ faces at the mention of that unfamiliar name again.

“She...lives with this girl Raven?” Lexa asked, forcing her tone to be casual.

By the look on her friend’s faces, she didn’t succeed.

“Aden,” Anya started, waiting until the youngest Woods turned around. “Who is Raven, exactly?”

Aden grinned, doing a jig and spooning some ice cream into his mouth. “It’s Raven,” he simply said through his mouthful of ice cream.

Lexa felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest at the way Aden said this other girl’s name.

As if his answer simply explained everything about who this girl was to Clarke.

Her Clarke.

(No, not _her_ Clarke—and goddammit when was she going to stop _doing_ that.)

“Lexa—”

“It’s fine,” she said, cutting off whatever Octavia was going to say next. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Ade, will you show me how to make a sundae with all the fixings? That sounds really good.”

Her little brother—bless him—grinned as he nodded his head and pulled Lexa closer to the counter.

“Okay, first you have to put a scoop of chocolate on the bottom, because Raven says if you put it on top of the vanilla then you’re a fool because then all the other flavors will taste like chocolate…” he began excitedly.

Lexa focused on her younger brother, willing the confusion and hurt she felt away.

(It didn’t work.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop a comment below or come say hi at onebigroughdraft.tumblr.com! I love hearing from you lovelies.


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